The King of Queefs
It was the fall of 2005. I was cleaning my room. There were cum stains everywhere. As I wiped my dick cream off of my floor I saw a King of Queens disc from season 1. I knew my old ass parents left their shit at my place sometimes when they visited but why would it be in my room and covered in my cum? As I wiped my cum off of it I noticed something odd. On the disc, Doug was wearing a nazi uniform and had a nazi delivery truck, Arthur had no pants on and was looking at a grave. It said GEORGE COSTANZA'S DAD, GONE AND FORGOTTEN, 1899-1999. Carrie was topless on the disc reading a Jewish bible. I put the disc in my xbox and tried to get Arthur's wrinkled dick out of my head. So I jerked off in the shower then watched the disc. It said PLAY ALL and PLAY WITH YOURSELF. Doug was on the menu screen looking at me sexually. I clicked PLAY WITH YOURSELF. Then 2 episodes showed up. One was called "Doug does something wrong and doesn't tell Carrie until the end of the episode" the other was called "The King of Queefs". I clicked on The King of Queefs. It started with Doug, Spence, and Deacon sitting in their garage watching porn. Doug and Deacon were whacking off and Spence was just sitting there. When they were done Spence was about to lick the cum off of the couch. Then Doug said, "You fucking faggot! What did I tell you about doing that!" , the audience roared. Then Doug said "Only the small loads." Then Spence said "I like Deacon's better anyway." Then Spence left and mumbled something about fucking Danny. I was thinking "Why would my 69 year old parents watch this? They like that clean humor bullshit." Then Doug and Deacon were arguing about who's dick is bigger and Doug called Deacon a nigger and killed him with his dick. He put it right in Deacon's african ears and it went through his african eye and his african eye popped out and was bleeding on the floor. Then Doug became a nazi and was telling Arthur about it. Arthur had no pants on again and his wrinkly orange dried up cock was on camera. It made me puke cum. Then it faded to black. After 4 minutes and 20 seconds the show came back on. My xbox said ERROR CODE 694206669111337: ARTHUR'S WRINLKY DICK GAVE THIS XBOX A VIRUS. Fuck me. I just bought the fucking thing. At least I don't have to see that wrinkly old dick again. Right as I thought that, his fucking dried up slim jim filled my screen. I unplugged everything but it was still there with Arthur smiling at me sexually. Everywhere I walked, his eyes and his cock's eye would follow me. I broke my tv with a sledgehammer. I couldn't sleep for weeks. That old penis was burned into my brain. Then I went to a mental hospital for 3 years and got out. Now every time someone mentions the King of Queens I see that dried up old wrinkly dick staring at me and Arthur's old ape rape face sexually staring at me. Then I have a Vietnam flashback. Moral of the story: Turn the tv off when you see it. Category:TrollPastas